Why I don't have too many friends

Yesterday evening, I watched a couple breaking up. A stray gust of the coolest breeze had drawn me away from the library into the inviting darkness of my favourite riverside path for a solitary walk, and I couldn't resist sitting in on an argument between two people I don't know. (A welcome change from couples sitting silently, leading me to think that all they do do is sit silently for hours on end, and make others believe that they do actually have a life.) I don't know why I did it: I don't usually like watching arguments, even though I have consciously started more than my fair share. It was probably the refrain that the guy kept up, in his efforts to show indignation:

"What have I been doing these two years?!"

A fair question.